Andrew Smiler, Ph.D.

America's leading expert on the masculine self

Advance Praise for Dating & Sex:

“Every boy will find himself in the pages of Andrew Smiler’s Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy.  It speaks honestly to boys in their own language without ever talking down to them. The content is inclusive of the wide spectrum of ways teen boys define and experience themselves, and the illustrations are engaging, clear, and useful.  I highly recommend this book and am delighted to add it to my own classroom library of resources on healthy sexuality.” Al Vernacchio, MSEd, Author, For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens About Sexuality, Values, and Health

"I am so very grateful for this book, for Smiler's frank, measured, comprehensive discussion of sexuality for boys. I've already shared it with friends' high-school aged sons and they all give it two big thumbs up!" Peggy Orenstein, Author, Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape

"Dating and Sex is a modern, very inclusive and deeply thoughtful guide for a wide array of young guys. Well-organized and accessible without skipping on depth, this book is a fantastic starter guide for teens who want something gender-specific. It includes important food for thought about identity, including masculinity, consent, gender, sexual orientation, and body image, and talks about sex and relationships in ways that will serve young men and their sexual or romantic partners—as well as their families and greater communities—very well. I’m so glad that some of them will get the benefit of Andrew Smiler’s great smarts, care, sensitivity, and kindness." Heather Corinna, Founder and Director, Scarleteen

“In a society saturated by either disinformation or mis(sing) information, it's more than just "refreshing" to finally have a book that lays it all out for guys. It's imperative. Andrew Smiler's even-handed, judicious, and down-to-earth book will become the go-to book for teen guys—and those who love them.”  Michael Kimmel, PhD, SUNY Distinguished Professor of Sociology and Gender Studies, Author, Manhood in America and Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men

This is a wonderful book! It should mandatory for all boys (and girls would find it a good learning experience, too). It's right on target with the things boys want to know. They can be a tough audience to reach, and if any book has the chance to do so, this one does.” Joanne Davila, PhD, Professor and Director of Clinical Training, Department of Psychology, Stony Brook University

“Hey guys!  Have you ever had questions about changes to your body, how to ask someone for a date, how to decide whether to have sex, or how to be careful and considerate of your partner if you do have sex?  If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then this is the book for you.  Written by Dr. Andrew Smiler, a national expert on boys and their needs, Dating and Sex is a really cool, easy-to-read, and helpful book that will prepare you for the world of dating from now through your early adult years.” Mark Kiselica, PhD, Psychologist and Author, When Boys Become Parents: Adolescent Fatherhood in America

"As a father (4 boys and 1 girl) and grandfather (10 boys and 5 girls), I can’t think of a better book for young men and women or for their parents. As a psychotherapist who specializes in men’s issues, I also highly recommend Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy. There are few books that are accurate, accessible, and fun to read. I recommend it highly to all." Jed Diamond, Ph.D., LCSW, author The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best is Still to Come.

There is so much misunderstanding about adolescent male sexuality and about adolescent males, so much that there is a distance between who boys actually are and who we think they are. Dating and Sex goes a long way towards sensitizing the reader to normal adolescent male development without making it scary or deviant. Parents may wish to read it as well to better understand the adolescent males in their life. This is a great resource for psychologists and counselors, too.” Matt Englar-Carlson, PhD, Professor, Department of Counseling, California State University, Fullerton

“Some people think that what it means to be a man is changing. Dr. Smiler cleverly reminds us that the only thing changing is society's very narrow definition of a traditional male. This book helps the cause. It's an eye opener for any parent.” Wendy Walsh, PhD, Clinical Psychologist and Host, The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show, iHeartMedia's KFI AM Los Angeles

What a great contribution to the psychology of sexual health and relationships literature!  Teen boys will love this book because of its direct, no-nonsense approach, and parents will embrace it because it contains information that they may want to discuss with their teenage sons yet may be uncomfortable talking about. As a psychologist, I would suggest it to others to use in their practice with their clients and parents of clients. I actually would like to have a copy for my own pre-teen sons!” Linda R. Mona, PhD, Chief Consultant and Director of Clinical Operations, Inclusivity Clinical Consulting Services  

“As they enter the world of puberty, dating, sex, and romance, teenage boys are often confused or ill informed. Dr. Smiler has astutely and judiciously anticipated the questions teenage boys have about becoming young men. Though geared toward boys, this book will prove critical for their parents and anyone else who cares for the sexual and romantic wellbeing of teenage boys. Based on Dr. Smiler’s extensive reading of the research literature on sexual and romantic development during adolescence, this is advice at its best.” Ritch C. Savin-Williams, PhD, Professor of Developmental Psychology, Cornell University